


Requiem for an Eddie Brock

by Cool_Bean_Icecream



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Crack, Eddie Brock's secret butt vagina club, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life anymore, I swear this started out as a joke!, Implied Sexual Content, May get actual sexual content later if I feel like writing more of this hot garbage, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Other, Possible Anne/Dan later, You all know who you are, butt crack that is, mentions of scat but no actual scat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 09:40:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16616525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cool_Bean_Icecream/pseuds/Cool_Bean_Icecream
Summary: Where Venom feels Eddie's bodily functions are getting in the way of their sexy times so theyfixit for him





	Requiem for an Eddie Brock

Over the months spent living with Venom, Eddie had gotten more use to the changes that came with housing an alien parasite inside of his body. If he was being honest, it wasn’t all chocolate kisses and rainbows, but the sex was great and Eddie didn’t have to worry about so much as a sniffle with Venom beefing up his immune system. Really, he thought by this point in their relationship, there would be no more surprises, until--

“V, is something going on inside me? I haven’t pooped in two weeks and I’m starting to get worried.” Eddie finally asked as he looked at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror. He had been too embarrassed to bring it up at first and also figuring if there had bee a problem, Venom would’ve told him first. However, as days turned into weeks without any indication he was going to have a movement anytime soon, Eddie couldn’t help but feel more than a little anxious.

**“I figured you knew. We took care of that a while ago, Eddie.”** Was Venom’s completely nonchalant reply.

Eddie slowly drew up his eyebrows and cautiously asked “What do you mean, _took care of it_ , Venom?”

Eddie could almost feel Venom roll their eyes inside him as the alien tried to be patient with their slow human as they explained. **“It got in the way of sex. Hated having to wait for you to be clean and empty - but you’re never really _empty_ , Eddie; was only a matter of time before you had to have another movement and repeat the useless process all over again. It was useless, Eddie, so we got rid of it.”**

“You _what?!_ " Eddie wheezed and had to scrabble to grab the bathroom counter, feeling his legs wanting to give out from the shock. “Venom! You can’t just -- people _need_ to do that! _I_ need to do that!”

**“ _We_ don’t, Eddie. Not anymore.”** Venom didn’t so much as assure their host rather than tell him how it was going to be from then on. **“However, I understand your concern. Being unable to evacuate waste products can be lethal for normal humans. We are different. Better.**

**“We can fully digest everything you eat, Eddie. Nothing goes to waste. It’s cleaner this way and far more efficient.”**

Eddie was still busy clinging to the bathroom counter like it was his last lifeline as Venom explained all this to him. Sure, it made sense to him what Venom was saying, but at the same time, all Eddie could ask was _"Why?"_

**“Why not?”** Venom groused, almost sounding personally offended that their host didn’t understand how great what they had done was. **“I told you before, Eddie. _We_ can do anything we want.”**

“So I’ve heard…” Eddie could only sigh as he recovered from his shock and pulled himself back up to a proper, standing position. “So, now that _we_ don’t need to go to the bathroom anymore, what will happen? I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure _something_ has to come out of there or else it will just shrivel up and die.” not that he knew for sure, though; like Eddie just said, he wasn’t a doctor… however, Anne’s boyfriend was.

Yeah, like he’d ever ask Dan such a humiliating question, even if he prefaced it with the whole _'I’m asking for a friend’_ opener. Eddie could only imagine how well _that_ entire conversation would go over…

**“We have already repurposed your rectal cavity so you needn’t worry about it atrophying.”** Venom declared and Eddie paled, dreading as Venom continued.

**“Fluids from your reproductive system will now partially drain from your prostate and into your rectum. Your body will now regularly self-lubricate, keeping the area clean and functional. When sexually stimulated, even more fluids will be produced.**

**"Simply put, your lower digestive tract’s sole function now is that of secondary sex organ -- even more so than before.”** Venom mused, a slight, teasing tone in their voice - not that Eddie caught it as his hearing faded in and out.

A _vagina._

Venom had turned his ass into a _fucking **vagina**_

With that realization, no bathroom counter in the world could save Eddie from fainting onto the floor, all while Venom screamed at him something about not being such a pussy.

Ironic, really.


End file.
